core qualities

What are your core qualities?

for me: enthusiam
determination
kindness
(i love women)


what are your challenges?


thoughtfulness
stubbornness
confrontation
focus

how about you?

On another subject, I move this week to my own space! I am so enthused about this. I just realized it has been like 5 months since I have been back. I had a great time in Europe as everyone knows and being back has just been about work and culture shock. The culture shock phase is long and gone and now after the recent success last week I have a moment to reflect. I am going to move into my own space again. And it is sweet!! I want to throw a party for the holidays, one to have the guys from work over and just party because we did a great job. And two because I want to just get back to Cleveland in style, in the village.

This town is so tough, the city that is. Funny thing tonight on the train I am riding and these kids about 19 or so were interested in my bike. They were asking all sorts of questions. Well finally he asked me where do I exit the train and I told him E 55th and that I live in the Harvard E 71st area and he responded, with "damn, you live in the da hood". I just smiled and said , "yeah, I live the hood."

Life here is different for sure, it is a struggle in every form. A struggle to live peacefully and healthy and happy. For sure, the struggle for me is just simply to live. It is a challenge though, my faith and principles are definitely put to the challenge. For me, it is easy to live in europe (Netherlands), things there just make sense, logically there. But in Cleveland in America something wild defying logic exists. The challenge to mold the open space the unsuspecting "consumers" , opportunity at every corner. All these qualities exist here. For me, in Europe all is taken care of, life just works and is fun for me. In America, especially Cleveland I have to constantly work, chip away every day at defining myself. I remember something, well not really, from philospophy about environment shaping the "you", well that I think is what I like most about Cleveland (america) for that matter. For me, i don't want to be shaped like my environment or a status quo or fit into a social demographic, even though I do to an extent. I still reject the social stigma and class behaviour that I see. One thing that still hangs on by a thread in the country is the concept, at least that anyway, that a person can defy social boundaries and be and define themselves as they see themselves, i am not a liberatarian, athough many people I know and respect are. That is exciting, actually. However, in my opinion because opportunity is all around and the basket is full of plenty, this full bushel has brought with it, complacency. This complacency brings with it all the standard negatives or backwards of human behaviour.

In the end my opinion doesn't matter for anything, but one thing that matters is that nothing as I can see is completed without the little things the consistant reminders of being alive everyday. "Home runs" are for the movie stars. If you want proof of that, just look at raising a child. A child isn't "learned" goodwill to others by the few times to the fun park or the fun dvd material items in the back of the rendevous, it is through consistancy and dedicated care and love that creates what becomes a well rounded adult.

Anyway, I need to get back to work. ( just remember, I am an only child, and that should explain it alll...........)